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Should Couples Sleep In Separate Beds?

sleeping in separate beds

Is your partner constantly stealing the bedcovers while simultaneously accusing you of doing the same? Do you get whacked in your sleep because of your partner’s energetic dreams? Or do you feel guilty when you wake your partner up with your toilet trips?

As society emphasises on bed sharing as a gauge of a happy relationship, admitting or deciding to sleep in a separate room to your partner seems to be bad idea. However, approximately 20% of couples have reported to spend three to seven nights a week in separate bedrooms because of their or their partner’s sleep problems.


Sleep in Separate Beds


This behaviour in fact has been proven to have a number of health and relationship benefits for the couple.

Avoid health problems

Sharing a bed with someone causes most people to wake every time their partner stirs. When breathing patterns change, someone moves or snoring and sleep talking occur, you are likely to wake in response, which causes a very disrupted sleep. Sleep is one of the most important functions of our body. It is a chance for our bodies to re-energise and mentally rest, when humans don’t get enough sleep, a number of serious health issues can arise including anxiety, depression and mood swings among others. So if sleeping in separate beds is the price to pay for good health, it just might be worth it.

Avoid relationship resentment

If your partner constantly wakes you with rapid movements or snoring while they are sleeping, it is likely that you will have a level of resentment towards them. By sleeping in separate beds, you can avoid this point of relationship stress.

Be slimmer

Studies have shown that people who have disturbed sleep were a third more likely to put on at least 15 kilograms. Your body needs sleep to assist the digestive process and without it, your body will not digest food effectively.

Keep the passion in your sex life

By sleeping in separate beds, sexual relations will be purely out of desire, not out of habit, which means your fire will be kept alive.

Better for your lifestyle

If you go to bed at 10pm every night while your partner likes to stay up late watching television, sending emails or reading a book, you won’t be going to sleep together and will be waking when the other comes to bed and again in the morning. By sleeping in separate beds, your lifestyles can be in sync even when you are doing different things.

While it is no longer the traditional thing to do, there are some pretty important benefits that you and your partner could have if you make the decision to sleep in separate beds.

By taking baby steps, like having two single beds in one room and then moving to having different bedrooms, you can trial sleeping apart and see if it is for you.


Do you and your partner sleep in different beds? Is this something you would consider?


This article was posted by our friends at Starts At Sixty, an online community for active over 60s.


  1. Marco

    Why in the world would any body want’s to be married if you goin to sleep alone? that’s crazy unless you don’t love that person,to me wake up in the morning feeling the warm body next to me,, soft touch and and sweet smell of a beautiful woman strap to my chest can’t be compare to nothing else in the world, i’ll live for that.

  2. Earle

    My wife and I sleep in the same bed although we switched from a queen to a king for the extra room. We start out together but need the extra space as I toss and turn all night long, and alternately steal the covers and throw them off. That solved the problem. If circumstances changed and this was no longer an option, separate beds would be on the menu of options. I seriously doubt it would adversely affect our intimacy or sex life.

  3. e

    I fear that my need to sleep in different room, is the thing that most likely would keep me single forever

  4. Emma GRAYSHON

    I have three children, 4,5 and 7 and on any given night one will be up
    Like fellow posters my dh worked while I stayed with the boys but now I work almost full time. I’m used to bed hopping with the boys that I now find I can’t always sleep even if the boys do and can’t even if they do. I feel sleeping apart will work best. How do I go about it?

  5. Red

    I insisted on separate bedrooms. He snores and twitches, gets up way earlier than me for work (3:30am), and I am a very light sleeper. Plus, I need to stretch out to feel comfortable without any aches in the morning, and sleeping in the same bed always leaves me sleeping awkward, so hey, I feel it the next day. We agreed on weekends and on days we feel like, we just share the same bed. My father does the same with his long-term girlfriend of almost 20 years. They each have their sleeping quirks and habits, and they are much happier for separate rooms. I’ll admit though, that my husband is of the traditional mindset- he feels like we should be sharing the same bed, so it does cause some friction. Of course, he sleeps like the dead, so that would make him happy but leave me wide awake. I am sticking to my guns on this one, though. I know too many married couples that hate their spouse’s sleeping patterns and complain, and they have sleepless nights and more friction in the relationship as a result. It works if both partners are mature and secure, and not stuck on the norm.

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