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Is lying about age OK to do online?

lying about age

Lying about age is a hot topic among people with online profiles. Have you ever seen an online profile with an age attached and wondered if the number really added up? Maybe you thought that the person you were viewing might have been living in a false reality when it came to the age that they said they were. Is it ever okay to trim a few years to your profile when seeking romance online?

The Research

lying about ageMore mature adults are turning online for dating and companionship. Data released this week showed that in 2013, 6% of 55-64 year olds reported using an online dating site or mobile dating app. Fast forward a few years and today that number has doubled to 12%. Age can be an important aspect when browsing profiles, although for many age is just a number when you feel young at heart.

Some Stitch members recently discussed their thoughts about age on profiles with mixed opinions.  Some online dating sites require members add their age to their profile. Unfortunately, this can result with many people lying about their age (this can happen by up to ten years!) in an attempt to not show up in searches from older companions. In order to make their profile appear to match with their (false) age, they might upload images that are a little old, images taken from long distances or wearing sunglasses, hats and other accessories that might disguise what they look like today.

This is not always deliberate, if you’re worried that your photos are not updated or clear, you can read over an article we wrote about taking selfies here!

81% of online profiles contained at least one fib according to researchers from Cornell University and Michigan State University. They looked at eighty men and women who had a personal ad on four dating sites like Match.com and Yahoo Personals. Comparing height, weight and age, they found:

  • Men overstate their height by half an inch on average
  • Women are more likely to lie about their weight
  • There’s no gender difference in deceptions about age.

Unlike other online dating sites, Stitch doesn’t require that you put these types of information on your profile. Provided our team can verify that you’re over fifty, it’s up to you what you’d like to include to share with other members.

Many of our members are proud of their age and would prefer to share it! Though, it’s only important to some, so for many others, it doesn’t matter whether it’s there or not. Which makes sense, because the older we get, the less likely we’re able to lie on our profiles. “The only saving grace appears to be that with age comes wisdom. On both sides of the Atlantic, the older people got, the less likely they were to be untruthful. Clearly the older generations understand that it’s better to be accepted for who you are rather than who you wish you were,” The Huffington Post reported.

When it comes to your profile on Stitch, we leave it to you to decide you what to include. Without questions including how old you are, or what your height or weight is (like some other online dating websites require) we believe it helps create honest profiles.

Real Stitch Storylying about age

One of our members in California (who prefers to remain anonymous) told us he has always filtered profiles on age and was very frustrated when Stitch would not let him do that. A few months later, he met a woman on Stitch that he fell for and guess what? She was two years his senior. He said he never would have met her on any other website and that he was so grateful to Stitch for removing judgemental barriers.

So, what do you think? Does age matter when looking at profiles? Do you look at another person’s photos and what they’ve written about themselves instead? We’d love to know what you think. Comment below, or log in to Stitch and join the discussion!

 

14 Comments

  1. Cheryl

    I generally figure that the photo one chooses to use is one they are happy with in terms of being realistic and flattering at the same time. So , if a person is putting something obvious out there (like a particular tattoo or logo/religious symbol etc. on a wearable anything) it is fair to assume it has great meaning to them. I can’t help but make judgements from that perspective.

    1. Marcie Rogo

      Thanks, Cheryl, for your contribution.

    2. Kath

      I believe that to assume because someone has a tattoo or wears a cross etc does not tell you about their complete character. Usually when we jump to judgement we find out we are right off the mark. To know a person I believe that communication honesty on both sides and similar interests are a start to getting friendship off on the right track. Just my opinion

  2. Rita

    The only thing I care about is honesty. If you want to include your physical characteristics and what you’re looking for in a Stitch, tell the truth. If you’re uncomfortable including something or if it’s not important to you, omit it. If it’s important to your Stitch, s/he’ll ask and then, please, tell the truth.

    1. Marcie Rogo

      Well said, Rita.

  3. Denise

    The story isn’t a very good example, as 2 years is no big deal and probably most people don’t look for someone exactly their year of birth. However, considering everyone has different ideas about age, Stitch should make it mandatory for age so that people have a choice as to whether they make that age significant or not. It is not possible to be accurate about ages from pictures, or even the small profiles. I’ve given up even bothering because I don’t know the ages and maybe miss someone that is my age, if only I knew, but still better than wasting time learning later that there is too much age difference, which can also be embarrassing. Ages on Stitch are from 50 plus and there is a huge difference in likes, needs etc between people in their 50s and those in their 70s. I’ve lost interest because of this and I expect others feel the same from the discussions. The events and discussion forums by Stitch add to what is provided by other dating sites, but the lack of other information is significantly bad. So what if a few people lie, they probably do in Stitch profiles as well, however it is still better than being left totally in the dark about these issues. There is such a thing as lies by omission as well and not having the information provided is already a lie to some degree, or at the least very unhelpful.

    1. Marcie Rogo

      Thank you, Denise, for sharing that opinion with us. Stitch is always a work in progress so it’s great to hear feedback from our members so that we know what changes we need to make.

      1. Milt S

        My doctor states he does not tread me for my age; he treats the person level of Heath. Met a nice woman on line saying I was 85. As we parted after meeting at lunch, she encouraged me to meet again. We arranged a dinner date
        A few days later she emailed. She had searched online. You lied: you’re 95. She liked me as a person!!!!

      2. Ian

        Hi Marcie, I just wondered what your opinion is of situation where a lady of 47 has an online dating profile with a blank picture and an age quoted as being 22……obviously a bit of a stretch. Quite a substantial difference, so not just a small lie but possibly an indictation that the person absolutely cannot be trusted? Ian

  4. Eleni

    No comments…for the time being…

  5. Dot

    My Dad way s 20 years older than my Mum and I have a friend who is very happily married to a man 10 years younger than themselves – to my mind age doesn’t matter that much, it is how that person thinks and feels and acts. I have known people in their 30’s who have the mindset of a 90 year old and vice versa! Maybe the solution is honest profile pictures? I know some people prefer to have a picture that has been carefully staged but this can give anyone looking at your photo the wrong idea as to your actual age. Mine is one taken by my granddaughter at Christmas and I hope it is pretty much how I actually look!

  6. Catherine Hannaway

    I agree that i would like to know ‘ages’ and to put mine on my profile. Height is also important to me. It would be easy for you to verify age when you do the ID check, which would be even better. I have only just begun exploring this site, but issues like that may reduce the likelyhood of me paying a membership fee. In addition, so far i have been sent quite a few profiles that i would never dream of matching up with….then all my points were gone. I will persevere a little longer but so far it doesnt really seem clear there is any benefit for me.

  7. Gladys

    When a man, or anyone else asks my age, I normally ask, are you asking because you wish to sell me insurance or are you asking because you want to propose marriage and want to know if I am of childbearing age? In American polite society, asking a woman’s age, dress size, and weight is intrusive. If age means so much, then there are lots of sites that require it. I prefer to get to know something about a person before filtering them out on something so insignificant as age. If they are 90 well groomed, and healthy enough to be independent, hike, play tennis, ski, then why should age matter? I would be more concerned with someone who lived with their adult children and 60 because obviously the independence is not there. I understand no one wants to get involved with an invalid or almost invalid, however age is not going to tell you that. Lifestyle will. I like the fact that Stitch has eliminated the stereotypical filtering that accompany age numbers.

  8. Frank

    I like your thoughts, Dot.

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