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How to find love over 50? Be open

how to find lover over 50

Love is a funny thing. In your 20’s, many mistake it for lust. In your 30’s and 40’s, you’re focused on who is the best person to co-parent. In your 50’s and 60’s, your parenting duties are usually over, so now what? You get back out there after decades of not dating. You revert back to what you wanted in your 20’s and 30’s, but you find you’re not successful. This is what we hear from so many Stitch members who were missing out on love when they finally felt ready to have it again. Those that were lucky enough to find love over 50 had one thing in common:

They were open

This is something that, as co-founder of Stitch, I’ve been wanting to write about for awhile. I have had the privilege of, through our membership, watching so many relationships and friendships bloom. I get to hear about unique and interesting activities and trips inspired by the specific interests and backgrounds of our membership.  This month, a Stitch member and naturalist is taking local members to a special, unknown walking path to teach them about the local foliage and greenery. How cool, right? I also get to read some very serious and thought-provoking topics in the Stitch Discussion Forums. Recently, Stitch members had a real and sincere conversation about the 2016 US Presidential election. Members from Canada, Australia, and the UK were sharing what it looks like from their part of the globe with those in the US!

What I’m trying to say is that I’ve seen a lot the past two years. From having hundreds of conversations with our members from different countries, backgrounds, relationship histories, etc., I can see over and over, the same clear trend when it comes to those who have found love on Stitch. They made the conscious decision to lower their barriers. They embraced the Stitch method of no physical filters. They were open to new people, discussions, locations, ideas, perspectives, and chose not to put a box around that perfect “someone.”

I know, I know, this may sound a bit cliché or ambiguous, but indulge me for a minute. Read these stories, hot off the Stitch presses:

  • Nancy is a beautiful, fun, intelligent woman living in Chicago. She had been on every dating site imaginable but still did not have success. She tried Stitch and re
    how to find love over 50

    Nancy and Bob

    viewed  profiles in our Browse section. Then she headed over to the Discussion Forums. She was not normally interested in online forums, but the Stitch forums felt different. She read a few and noticed some really interesting people she had not come across because they were outside of her immediate area. She decided to increase her distance settings and be a bit more open to talking to someone far away. She soon Stitched with a man named Bob from Virginia. He responded and the conversation continued. But could this even be a love interest? Bob lived hours away. Nancy decided to remain open and keep the dialogue going. After some months, they decided they’d like to explore if there was a connection and Bob came to Chicago. The rest is history. Nancy just moved to Virginia and despite leaving her home and friends, she truly could not be happier. Stitch Champion Paula met them at a recent event in Richmond and said they were a true “Stitch love story.

  • Kathie is a 60 – something vibrant, outgoing, generous mother and grandmother living in Los Angeles. For years, she’s felt this gaping hole in her heart. She assumed that it was the hole left from her past relationships, the feeling that would remain unless she
    How to find love over 50

    Kathie and Nancy

    found another man to love, and to love her. On Stitch, Kathie did have her settings on romantic and non-romantic companionship. She happened to connect with a Stitch member, Nancy (different Nancy!) and met her at a local Stitch event. They totally hit it off like an explosion of two souls connecting that were always meant to know one another. They quickly became best friends, checking in with each other daily, going out for nights on the town, hosting Stitch events like “Bond and Martinis” and even having an Egg Nog Christmas slumber party. They felt like teenagers and this was love. But it wasn’t romantic love, it was friendship love. Kathie described it as this: “The CONNECTION with another human being who was fun, funny, and liked to do the same things that I do was what I realized I was missing. My husband was my best friend (until he wasn’t). Now I have Nancy and she doesn’t make me clean up after her!  Lol!” It wasn’t a man that she needed, it was true companionship. It just came from an unexpected place because she was open to it.

  • Beatriz is a kind, funny educator living in London. She was one of the first Stitch members in the area and tried to get the community going with events, but it took over a year on Stitch for people to really come out of hiding! While she liked meeting new friends, she was looking for love, but put that on pause while she planned a major move to America. After she updated her profile that she was moving, a man named Paul messaged her on Stitch. She told him she would be moving but he said he didn’t want to miss the chance to meet her. They met and there was a true spark, but she still was blocking her interest. He was 10 years IMG_1516her junior and she felt as if she was dating “a child.” She had set up these “rules” for herself about age and luckily for her, Stitch does not show ages, nor do we let you filter on age, so they were able to connect. As the weeks went on, Paul kept pursuing her and she could no longer deny the true connection. She still moved to America but they are making it work, planning trips and visits and they are truly in love and life, while unexpected, has never been better. Beatriz is also excited for the new friends in Orlando she’s connecting with on Stitch. After her whirlwind romance, she said, “You have to be inspired and be open.

So what can we learn here? The next time you look at a profile on Stitch, take a pause. Ignore how old you think they are, their location, any other demographic information and think, do I like what this person wrote about themselves? Do I want to know more? Don’t think about the reasons it would never work, just think in that moment, be open, and you might just find love.

 

21 Comments

  1. Carol Tracy

    Amen, Marcie! Doug and I are going through the struggles, currently, of moving him from Iowa to Orlando. It’s not easy. We both have a lot of “stuff” to get rid of, pass on to other family members, or donate. It will not be easy for Doug to leave beautiful Iowa for the heat of Orlando. He has to leave his job, and finding another is not easy in your 60’s. I feel so guilty every time I think of what he is giving up, but we know, in a few months, it will all be OK, and we look forward to the rest of our life together.

    I feel extremely blessed, and as we keep telling everyone, we owe it all to Stitch.net. We will continue to be cheerleaders for you in Orlando.

    1. Marcie Rogo

      Thank you so much for sharing that Carol! I was thinking about you both when writing this blog. You two are amazing for being so brave to be open and take this journey but there’s no doubt it will be worth it. Thank you for being our amazing cheerleaders!

  2. Carol Tracy

    Beatriz & I will be teaming up for “Team Orlando” very soon, and we will work together on spreading the word. I was very happy to hear she has someone so interested in her. Very nice to hear!

    1. Marcie Rogo

      Love that!! Go team Orlando!

  3. Cass

    interested in signing up….have realized I would like a significant other in my life…..

    1. Suzanne

      What wonderful news from all these happy new lovers!!! I had tears in my eyes while
      reading their stories…..It has made me want to be more active ,in this fabulous group
      of people- the Stitch Family!!!! Love and Happiness to you all….Suzanne

    2. Alison

      I am interested in joining( I read the blogs regularly) but I never see anyone on here from Ontario Canada ……..would love to know if there are members from my area

      1. Marcie Rogo

        Hi Alison, we definitely have members in Ontario! Our community there is still growing but there are plenty of people to meet up with, grab dinner with, or a movie. We would love to have you as a member and thank you so much for following our blog.

  4. Beatriz

    Just updating my story. Paul is coming to Orlando August 30 for three weeks!!!! we are both very excited. It will be an opportunity for us to get to know each other, for Paul, to explore America, his first transatlantic flight, actually, his first flight ever, he has been nervous of flying, trains are comfortable in Europe LOL.
    I am vacationing in Merida, Mexico, going back to Orlando on Sunday and Carol and I are planing to organize events in Orlando. We will share our stories with Stitchers over there.
    Bea 🙂

    1. Andrew Dowling

      How exciting Beatriz! Can’t wait to hear all the stories 🙂

  5. Cathy

    I am are a recent divorcee looking for adult conversation . I was married for 36 years and have no problem with being alone, just hate being lonely. I would also love someone to go out to dinner , movie, and have great conversation. Would I be welcomed into the Stitch community?

    1. Andrew Dowling

      Absolutely Cathy — you sound exactly like pretty much all of our members! I see you’ve just started to create an account on Stitch so please reach out to Stitch support if you have any questions.

      Thanks,
      Andrew.

  6. Debi

    I would love to find love over 50, I’m a 58 yr old an grandma, I do have health issues but so does everybody .

  7. Judy

    Wow! Marcie!
    I loved reading these stories. It’s such a great reminder to truly be open to possibilities. Also I love the fact that you don’t allow age as a filter. Thank you again for all your efforts to help us connect!

    1. Marcie Rogo

      Thanks Judy! Love having you on Stitch and as a wonderful Champion.

  8. Dolores

    Iam 56 looking for someone. I lost my fiancé two years ago. I been on dates, it’s been a disaster ,they are looking for a sex partner right of the bat. Can you help me? Dolores

    1. Marcie Rogo

      Hi Dolores, we can absolutely help you. Stitch is a place where like-minded, verified people connect for companionship, which means doing things they love to do! I hope you give us a try by clicking “sign up.” I think you’ll love it!

      1. Patricia

        I am 56, divorced but my ex passed away 3 years ago. I have found a wonderful man who is 9 years older than I. He just retired. I have a good career going. We get along great, have fun together, and I trust him implicitely. We have lived together for 3 years. I told him to begin w and several other times that I wasn’t interested in marriage. He has never been married. Our relationship and circumstances has brought us to a point where it is time to do something. He asked me to marry him, but I couldn’t say yes right away. He doesn’t like to fish, garden or gamble–3 things I truly enjoy–but he doesn’t mind that I do. We love to travel which we get to do quite a bit through my job. We will be “comfortable” but certainly on a budget when it’s time for me to retire, but then the opportunities to travel will be lost, at least the ones that are paid for by my work. I am just so afraid that we don’t have enough common interests. He is still working part time here and there but has no real desire to find more work. I am just not sure the trust and companionship are going to be enough for me, but I am so afraid of losing him or hurting him. Need some advice.

  9. margaret

    I read about Stitch in a newspaper only recently and I am interested in all positive input I see on your site. I would love to connect with a like minded person/ potential partner/ find a new relationship and the intimacy in its full breadth of definition that is missing from my life. I have many friends and keep my life meaningfully busy. I might not often be alone but I am lonely at times. I would love to find that wholeness that I think we all need. I wonder if many members are in Australia as yet? I’m not narrow minded and have travelled a lot but I’d like to imagine meeting people closer to home than not. Perhaps I’m looking for some initial encouragement before actually moving to writing a profile! Thankyou!

    1. Marcie Rogo

      Hi Margaret,
      Thank you so much for posting. We have thousands of members in Australia. We even have an office in Sydney! It’s one of our most engaged cities and I think you’ll find there are a lot of like-minded people if you give us a try 🙂 We’d LOVE to have you!

  10. Polly

    I discovered that there are not that many members in England and the ones I came across/messaged had other things going on, so it didn’t work for me. It’s very challenging to make new friendships at my age…

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