Love is a funny thing. In your 20’s, many mistake it for lust. In your 30’s and 40’s, you’re focused on who is the best person to co-parent. In your 50’s and 60’s, your parenting duties are usually over, so now what? You get back out there after decades of not dating. You revert back to what you wanted in your 20’s and 30’s, but you find you’re not successful. This is what we hear from so many Stitch members who were missing out on love when they finally felt ready to have it again. Those that were lucky enough to find love over 50 had one thing in common:
They were open
This is something that, as co-founder of Stitch, I’ve been wanting to write about for awhile. I have had the privilege of, through our membership, watching so many relationships and friendships bloom. I get to hear about unique and interesting activities and trips inspired by the specific interests and backgrounds of our membership. This month, a Stitch member and naturalist is taking local members to a special, unknown walking path to teach them about the local foliage and greenery. How cool, right? I also get to read some very serious and thought-provoking topics in the Stitch Discussion Forums. Recently, Stitch members had a real and sincere conversation about the 2016 US Presidential election. Members from Canada, Australia, and the UK were sharing what it looks like from their part of the globe with those in the US!
What I’m trying to say is that I’ve seen a lot the past two years. From having hundreds of conversations with our members from different countries, backgrounds, relationship histories, etc., I can see over and over, the same clear trend when it comes to those who have found love on Stitch. They made the conscious decision to lower their barriers. They embraced the Stitch method of no physical filters. They were open to new people, discussions, locations, ideas, perspectives, and chose not to put a box around that perfect “someone.”
I know, I know, this may sound a bit cliché or ambiguous, but indulge me for a minute. Read these stories, hot off the Stitch presses:
- Nancy is a beautiful, fun, intelligent woman living in Chicago. She had been on every dating site imaginable but still did not have success. She tried Stitch and re
viewed profiles in our Browse section. Then she headed over to the Discussion Forums. She was not normally interested in online forums, but the Stitch forums felt different. She read a few and noticed some really interesting people she had not come across because they were outside of her immediate area. She decided to increase her distance settings and be a bit more open to talking to someone far away. She soon Stitched with a man named Bob from Virginia. He responded and the conversation continued. But could this even be a love interest? Bob lived hours away. Nancy decided to remain open and keep the dialogue going. After some months, they decided they’d like to explore if there was a connection and Bob came to Chicago. The rest is history. Nancy just moved to Virginia and despite leaving her home and friends, she truly could not be happier. Stitch Champion Paula met them at a recent event in Richmond and said they were a true “Stitch love story.“
- Kathie is a 60 – something vibrant, outgoing, generous mother and grandmother living in Los Angeles. For years, she’s felt this gaping hole in her heart. She assumed that it was the hole left from her past relationships, the feeling that would remain unless she
found another man to love, and to love her. On Stitch, Kathie did have her settings on romantic and non-romantic companionship. She happened to connect with a Stitch member, Nancy (different Nancy!) and met her at a local Stitch event. They totally hit it off like an explosion of two souls connecting that were always meant to know one another. They quickly became best friends, checking in with each other daily, going out for nights on the town, hosting Stitch events like “Bond and Martinis” and even having an Egg Nog Christmas slumber party. They felt like teenagers and this was love. But it wasn’t romantic love, it was friendship love. Kathie described it as this: “The CONNECTION with another human being who was fun, funny, and liked to do the same things that I do was what I realized I was missing. My husband was my best friend (until he wasn’t). Now I have Nancy and she doesn’t make me clean up after her! Lol!” It wasn’t a man that she needed, it was true companionship. It just came from an unexpected place because she was open to it.
- Beatriz is a kind, funny educator living in London. She was one of the first Stitch members in the area and tried to get the community going with events, but it took over a year on Stitch for people to really come out of hiding! While she liked meeting new friends, she was looking for love, but put that on pause while she planned a major move to America. After she updated her profile that she was moving, a man named Paul messaged her on Stitch. She told him she would be moving but he said he didn’t want to miss the chance to meet her. They met and there was a true spark, but she still was blocking her interest. He was 10 years her junior and she felt as if she was dating “a child.” She had set up these “rules” for herself about age and luckily for her, Stitch does not show ages, nor do we let you filter on age, so they were able to connect. As the weeks went on, Paul kept pursuing her and she could no longer deny the true connection. She still moved to America but they are making it work, planning trips and visits and they are truly in love and life, while unexpected, has never been better. Beatriz is also excited for the new friends in Orlando she’s connecting with on Stitch. After her whirlwind romance, she said, “You have to be inspired and be open.“
So what can we learn here? The next time you look at a profile on Stitch, take a pause. Ignore how old you think they are, their location, any other demographic information and think, do I like what this person wrote about themselves? Do I want to know more? Don’t think about the reasons it would never work, just think in that moment, be open, and you might just find love.